Ella yesterday went to the birthday party of a classmate. We usually let the kids pick out the present they want to give, and Ella chose a Nerf gun with extra ammo. I chuckled when she chose it, but I never really considered that her friend wouldn't like it or that her friend's parents might be bothered by it. After all, anyone who owns a Nerf gun knows that they are a total blast. (My brother and sister-in-law bought guns for all of my kids this past Christmas, and my only concern was that they hadn't gotten guns for Daniel and me. I knew that we were about to have all out Nerf wars in our house, and I wanted to be able to defend myself.)
Anywhoodles, Ella's classmate had her party at one of those jumpy places, one of those places where guests drop their gift in a huge bin that gets carted away to and unloaded in the parents' car. We never saw her friend open the present.
Tonight at dinner:
Cathleen: So, Daniel, listen to this. Today at school, Sara* said to Ella, "Ella, why did you buy me a gun? Um, is it okay if I return it?"
Daniel: What! Well, I guess she doesn't like guns.
Virginia: That was mean of her.
Jude: Her's rude.
Cathleen: Well, perhaps she has a family that doesn't approve of toy guns. She certainly has a family that never taught her not to make such comments when someone gives you a gift. Anyway, I'm sure she wasn't trying to be rude. She was just being honest. (I realize that my response was obnoxious and catty, and yes, I know that I set a bad example. I felt bad immediately after I spoke.)
Daniel: Yes, what she said was a little bit mean, but I'm sure she wasn't trying to hurt your feelings.
Ella: Amusing, actually. What she said was amusing.
Daniel and I began laughing at Ella's response.
Ella: So, what exactly does amusing mean anyway?
Cathleen: It means funny.
Jude: Like I cwack you out! Mom, am I cwacking you out?
It's funny, if a friend said something like that to me about a present I had given them, I might have cried. I love it that Ella didn't really mind her friend's comment, found it amusing even. I love it that she's so sensitive yet not easily offended. I wish I were like that.
*name changed to protect the not-entirely-innocent
3 comments:
I'm down with catty. Embrace it. Don't apologize for it.
If your comment was catty, then I am...like...a jaguar or something. I didn't even think that was rude. Just honest ;)
Oh my. I think you were right to point out to the children that it's rude to ask someone if you can return a gift.
I, too, wish I was more like Ella. She will be OK because she won't be crushed or made defensive by the meanies. Phew, thank God.
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