I love my kids. Daniel too. But days have been hard lately. I feel like I'm doing a little bit of everything all of the time, but I'm doing nothing really well. My house is a mess. My kids are dirty. And I am out of shape. At least my eyebrows are waxed. I took care of that a few days ago, so that's an accomplishment.
Today I cleaned two toilets, part of one bathtub, and one and a half sinks. I threatened Virginia that if she doesn't stop sucking her hair and start brushing it, I am going to have it all chopped off. Today I also heard Ella's second formal confession. More on that later. And I explained to Jude that the small mole on my chest is not a third nipple. He asked me how he could take it off. I said, "you can't take it off. It's part of my body, just like your nose is part of your body." Then I pulled on his nose and said, "see, how would you take your nose off? You can't." He replied, "yes, you just cut it off." So, I guess I could cut off my mole, but I'm not going to. This reminds me of another funny conversation I had with Jude lately. It went a little something like this:
J: Mom, what it mean "take down"?
C: Well, if something is up high, and you want to move it lower, you take it down or move it lower.
J: No
C: Well, if you need to go to the bathroom, you can take down your pants. You know, make them lower on your legs.
J: No, what it means when you say 'I gonna take you down.'
C: It means I'm going to throw you onto the floor. Like when I am annoyed with someone, I want to take them down.
J: Oh, okay.
Regarding Ella's confession ...
I was walking past Ella's room, when I heard her cry out "Mom, I need to talk to you." I told her that I was helping Jude and that I'd return in a minute. She couldn't wait a minute. She said, "No! Mom! I need to talk to you now." She proceeded to quickly and quietly tap a few buttons on her alarm clock. Then she asked me if had heard her make a noise. I responded that indeed I had heard her, soft though her tapping was. She asked if I would have been able to hear the noise if I had been a few feet farther away. Then, before I could answer, she pushed past me and ordered me to reenact what she had just done. She would stand where I was, and I would softly push the buttons so that she could judge for herself the level of the noise. After she heard me push the buttons, she fell to her bed and began to sob, and her confession began to unfold ...
"Mom, when we were in class, Mrs. Rhymes said, 'Who is making that noise?' Then she walked to the table next to mine and said, 'I know it was either Austin or R.J., so which one of you boys did it?' And I was sitting at my table wondering to myself if I were the person who had been making the noise. You see, I had been rubbing my pencil along the wavy edge of the cardboard. I like the sound it makes. It was quiet, but I think maybe she heard it. But she ended up giving Austin a five minute time out, and I think maybe it was me who did it and not him. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. I let someone else get in trouble. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. I don't want to be a bad person. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaah. I let him get in trouble."
So sad. It took her awhile to deal with her grief. In the end, she told God that she was sorry for having let this happen. She asked God to forgive her and to help her be brave in the future. And she assured God and me and herself that she would never again let someone else take the blame if there was a chance that she was at fault. She's considering confessing to Mrs. Rhymes when the new semester commences, but I doubt Mrs. Rhymes will even remember the situation. When I finally tucked Ella in for the night, she told me that she had just prayed to God that he would help Virginia forgive her for having accidentally written in Virginia's book with silver marker. Then she prayed that God would give her the courage to tell Virginia what she had done. Classic. Already Ella fears the wrath of Virginia. I too ask God for strength to deal with the wrath that ensues when Virginia is not happy. Such drama.
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